There are many ways to be a parent. If you like the idea of being a mother, but cannot handle the day-to-day responsibilities, adoption could be the right choice for you. Like all of your options, choosing adoption is not an easy decision, but it can be extremely rewarding.
There was a time when a birth mother had very little control over the adoption of her child. Since being an unwed mother was frowned upon, she often moved away to have her baby and let others make the choice for her. Today, it is completely different.
Now, the birth mother has complete control of the process. You decide who the adopting couple will be, what type of home life you want for your child, and how much contact you wish to have in the future. You make an adoption plan for your child. There isn’t a right or wrong plan. It must be the one that works best for you.
Don’t let anyone tell you adoption means you are giving your baby up to strangers. Current adoption laws require adoptive families to go through careful background screenings, home studies, and interviews to make sure they are fully capable of providing a safe and loving home for your child. In addition, the adoptive families pay for all costs associated with the adoption. You are not required to provide anything financially.
There are three basic adoption plans. Each plan can be tailored to suit your individual requests. You choose which plan is right for you.
Open adoption means you and the adoptive family share identifying information such as full names, phone numbers, and addresses. You can have access to one another through face-to-face meetings, phone calls, texts, and letters.
As the birth mother, you choose how involved you want to be in your child’s life. Today, open adoption is extremely popular because both the child and the birth mother are able to meet and develop a bond. Often, the birth mother becomes an extended member of the adoptive family.
A semi-open adoption plan means the communication you have with the adoptive family and your child will be through a third party, like an attorney or an adoption agency. You still choose the adopting family, but your relationship is much more controlled.
You may exchange first names, but usually, no other identifying information such as phone numbers or addresses are given. Since contact goes through a representative, you and the family can still send and receive information from each other about your life and your child’s life.
Some women prefer to have no communication with the adoptive family or child. In order to move on with their lives, they feel it is best to stay completely anonymous. You still choose the adoptive family, but you won’t exchange any identifying information. The child’s birth certificate is sealed and remains confidential.
Some women cannot imagine carrying a child for nine months and then choosing to place them into the hands of another family. Other women know immediately making an adoption plan is the best for themselves and their child. The only way to know if adoption is right for you is to talk it through.
We are here to help you. By talking with a peer counselor about the pros and cons of adoption, you will be able to make a confident decision. We will refer you to adoption organizations that we know and trust. They too will help you make your decision. Contact us and let’s begin discussing all of your options.
There is no pressure to make a quick decision. As an expectant mother, you have plenty of time to consider the option of adoption. While you may begin your adoption plan, you still have the opportunity to change your decision if you later choose to parent.
Life Light is not an adoption agency and we do not facilitate adoptions.